i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
