I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
wow bdsm is so cute
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize