I heard we made out
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
