how can u be prego again
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Randomize
