The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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