Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
