trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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