I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
