is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
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