it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize