we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
