its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
