So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize