You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So here I am, sexting at work.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
