He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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