who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
