i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
