hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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