have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just pee around me
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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