I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize