Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
