when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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