I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
