I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
