3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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