your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That accounts for only three of the penises
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
