i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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