just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
