You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
