I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
