Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
