did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
