I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize