Sry I called you an 8
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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