im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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