Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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