I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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