addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
