He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My life is pants optional.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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