good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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