Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
