New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize