Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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