Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
