Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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