Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
