The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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