SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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