im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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