I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
