just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
