How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
