Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
