Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
