I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
