She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
