I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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