then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
