I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He passed out mid-signature
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
