Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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