i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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