Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
