why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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