At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
