quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
