I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
