I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
