i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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